Getting Off, Getting On.

I finally understand my contentment. It all comes down to two things I am always striving for: stability and sexual fulfillment. Maybe those are broad categories everybody hopes for, but I think it's important to clarify that by sexual fulfillment I don't necessarily mean to imply another person. Rather, I can feel sexually fulfilled simply from masturbating. I only need myself. The problem I find is that if I'm masturbating because I'm not with another person, it probably means I'm not stable. Jon Chen, my ex-boyfriend, gave me stability. We got along and we were friends and we dated for eight months, but I wasn't in love with him as much as I was in love with the stability and sense of safety I felt when I was with him. Moreover, he did give sexual fulfillment. When he came back to Minnesota in August, my stability was crumbling quickly. At the same time, I sensed that there were problems when my ex had trouble making me orgasm. Sure enough, we broke up within the next week. At that point, whatever stability I had left completely diminished. So why am I bringing this all up? Why now? Last night, Calvin, Cristina, and I went to Grand Hookah for a few hours. Aside from the intense games we played of Uno (a game where friendships die, by the way- I was called a very colorful variety of names during the game), we being the talkative and reflective people we are, evidently ended up talking about where we are in life. I think that's when I realized why I'm content. I'm both stable and sexually fulfilled. With stability and some porn, I'm set. Sure, that statement's probably a bit crass, but what does it say about how I'm doing? I've come a long way. I'm happy. I have some of the best friends, ever. I got into college. I'm moving to New Jersey (yes yes NJ jokes may now ensue). I'm going to Drew University. And my Jove, I am excited for it all. BRING IT ON.