I'm Still Gay and You're a Little Sharp: Why That "Gay Ass White Shit" Band Still Matters

As I steadily work my way out of an unfortunate chemical mess, I find myself revisiting probably the single most life-changing factor in my personal life: the self-proclaimed industrial jungle pussy punk band Mindless Self Indulgence. What started as a teenage obsession turned into a profound lesson in acceptance, self-respect, good humor, business ethics, communication, sexuality, and practical marketing. And now that the band is slowly exiting the realm of "indefinite hiatus" and I'm using my unfinished website as an excuse to be productive, my favor with them is quickly returning. Their last record did nothing for me. In fact, that entire promotional era left me feeling cold and disgusted, sometimes even with them as people. But as I've been typing out their discography, transcribing old press, and God forbid watching the infamous "Molly (Live)" video on DVD, I've remembered what made them so great. And what still makes them great is being able to feel all of that pain and self-loathing and knowing that no matter what that you're a unique and beautiful person and that sometimes all you need is to have fun and not give a fuck. Maybe I haven't followed that advice lately. But I have been listening to their work again, and it's bringing out the inner-geek and cynic in me again. That's a step forward.

The weather is beautiful outside; it feels like September. Tying in with all of the Mindless talk, I get extremely nostalgic for the band when it feels like this outside. I remember starting high school and feeling like I knew music's best kept secret, almost like I belonged to something special that nobody else at the time did. I was similarly depressed out of my mind at the time; chemically, I had never been in worse shape than I was at the end of May and into June 2006. I never really figured out why, but I would guess my recently discovered sexuality came as a shock to me and was hard to deal with. That fall I met the first guy I felt strongly for and we together felt like the biggest MSI fans on the planet. There were a lot of complications in the end and I may have gotten the shorter end of the deal, but I still had my favorite band. And at the time, every new discovery with Mindless was an event. The remix singles, the bootlegs, the official youtube channel, the tongue-in-cheek insults, everything. It was through Mindless I made some of my first long-lasting friends and established a place within the music industry. By chance, it's also how I met Bill H and became involved with BRAT Marketing. I'm not sure I would have ever discovered Tori Amos had I not become involved with the Mindless community, for that matter. So I'm very nostalgic today; I'm grinning from ear to ear. There's nothing I want more right now than to have some of my best high school friends over, watch Mindless Self Indulgence on VHS, talk about how much better Tight is than You'll Rebel to Anything (not something I'd necessarily agree with in that context now), wonder what "Lights Out" sounds like - knowing how awesome it's gotta sound, and complain about how we don't have studio versions of "Revenge" and "Unbelievable Animal."

James said that "everybody's who's famous sucked a dick to get where they are today" and that the "only difference between [the band] and them" is that "[Mindless] swallowed it." Sometimes I think that juvenile, backwards logic is the smartest of all. Maybe my problem's been that I've long forgotten the lessons of my widely-extended family. Right now, I'm going to try and fix that.

Love you James. Love you Steve. Love you Lyn-Z. Love you Kitty. Love you BillH. Love you Galus.

All of you at Mindless Camp are wonderful. Thanks for raising me right.
-Always, G

2010 Playlist #1 - Tear in Your Hand / Graduation

01. "Graveyard" (Live 1999) - Tori Amos
02. "Crucify" (Plugged 1999) - Tori Amos
03. "Breaking up the Girl" - Garbage
04. "Alejandro" - Lady Gaga
05. "Bomb This Track" (Demo) - Mindless Self Indulgence
06. "Spin Spin Sugar" (Armand van Helden Remix) - Sneaker Pimps
07. "Dance in the Dark" - Lady Gaga
08. "Picking Flowers Next to Roadkill" - Kristoff Krane
09. "Pacific Coast Highway" - Hole
10. "Gay Bar" - Electric Six
11. "Only Happy When It Rains" - Garbage
12. "Hysteric" (Acoustic) - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
13. "Wild" - Poe
14. "Samantha" - Hole
15. "Tear in Your Hand" (Remixed Tales Version) - Tori Amos

2 Day Scene Party / Mindless Self Indulgence If Tour Final Leg Trip

so here i am sitting in a dunn brothers in st.paul waiting for the pop to show up so that we can begin the trek down to chi-town and then immediately turn back and go to minneapolis for mindless self indulgence's final leg of the if tour. 2 day scene party with ryan and lisa ended this morning. i'm surprisingly not sad though. it honestly felt like this is a really regular thing and i'm like i'm going to see them tomorrow or something. haha. braces are off. that's a great feeling. forgetting my retainer at home. not a great feeling. will continue to update over the next two days on this lovely lovely trip. will be twittering like crazy, so check that out too if you care. once i get the pictures, there will be a lovely 2 day scene party wrap up, but until then i think mike's almost here and that it's time to go. SCARLET'S WALK TO CHI-TOWN, BITCHZ.

Any takers...?

Due to me being on the list, I do not need my tickets to Mindless Self Indulgence's show in Chicago on March 20th (next friday). I have two of them. Any takers?

hopefully passing

but not particularly sure if I am. let us hope. if Japan was finally announced. not in any rush to buy it. glad cold blood is being remixed, since it clearly wasn't mixed properly the first time (although I had no complaints). still sick. out of fellini's folly. must pick up more. tonight's goals:

1. finish guide for little earthquakes, under the pink, and boys for pele for brian.
2. make a pot of coffee.
3. get tea.
4. buy more fellini's folly.
5. visit jon.

Not sure if I'll accomplish the coffee part, or the tori part, but we'll see. would love to get my computer fixed soon too so that I can start listening to new music again.

if you haven't already...

you MUST check out lauren aka fairytale vegas's photography. she's done a lot of the recent live photography for mindless (which have been even used as the default pictures on their myspace!) and so you're probably familiar with her work, whether you knew it or not. she's also done a lot of work with amanda palmer, brian viglione, and the dresden dolls together, at that rate. these are some of my favourites: