I feel like a cunt. And this is probably the first time I've actually felt like a cunt in a long time. The truth is that I've been acting like a cunt for the past few weeks. I've blamed it on busyness and school work, but in all actuality it's still my fault. I've let my emotions and self-importance get the better of me. I'm particularly sorry to Emily.

Today I really pissed off a guy. I made him feel like he didn't mean very much to me and that despite all of the time he invests into our friendship, I only take it out of convenience and having nothing better to do. I made him feel even worse when I accused him of never talking about himself when honestly I know I never give him that chance. I've been a self-absorbed shithead. I am a self-absorbed shithead. But he had the goodness to call me out on it. I feel terrible. I even just cried a little bit. Not because he was right and I was wrong or anything like that, but I guess I feel really good knowing that despite all my shortcomings, I'm apparently good enough to keep around. Because I know had he been any other guy, I probably would've been told to go fuck myself. This guy's a good guy. I'm glad I didn't lose him over this. I want to stop focusing so much on myself. But it's hard. I like talking a lot. I have a shitty time trying to express myself though, and I think that's partially why a) I end up in disputes like this, and b) I talk so fucking much. As glad as I am to be able to work out these issues with my friends, it's kinda scary trying to overcome my greatest vice. Even just for my own sake, I hope I don't fuck up. God knows when and if I actually get married nobody's going to want to if I'm like this all the time.